Why Obi-Wan and Anakin Aren't Allowed to Cook
by Star Wars and Skillet
Summary: Obi-Wan decides to cook dinner. As usual, it doesn't go well. One-shot. Please R&R, no flames though. Cover art is mine


**Disclaimer: Ah... even tho this is a humor story, I can't seem to think of any sort of funny disclaimer. So I'll just go with a regular one. I don't own Star Wars. *stops to think* I guess in a way, I don't own gluetatoes either (you'll find out what those are soon).**

 **Sadly, this story is partly based on a true story.**

 **This story takes place shortly before the Clone Wars starts. Obi-Wan, Rilla, Troy, and Sarah are 29 and Anakin is 19.**

 **~ = personal thoughts**

 **/ = bond speech**

 **Why Obi-Wan and Anakin Aren't Allowed to Cook...**

"Obi-Wan, dear, I really don't think you should be doing this,"Sarah Kenobi said, slightly concerned by the fact that her husband was holding knife in his hand.

"Relax, Sarah. What could go wrong?" Obi-Wan asked, smiling.

She gave him a look, "You want me to start naming things?"

He frowned. "That won't be necessary," he mumbled.

"What was that? I couldn't hear you."

"Oh, hush! You're distracting me!"

Sarah was laughing now. Getting up from the chair she'd been sitting in, she walked up to Obi-Wan and wrapped her arms around him. "I was just teasing you. I'm sure you can cook really well if you try."

Obi-Wan sighed, "I hope so. I haven't cooked since I was a Padawan and I wasn't very good. Rilla tended to do most of it."

"She actually enjoyed cooking?" Sarah asked, slightly surprised. She had been best friends with Obi-Wan's twin sister for years and she had never known her friend to enjoy cooking.

"No, I don't think she did. I think she only did so all three of us wouldn't die of food poisoning," Obi-Wan said, chuckling.

Sarah laughed with him, "Now that makes sense." Then she paused. "Wait, does that mean we could all _die_ if I let you cook?!"

"No! Don't worry. I've gotten better, I promise!"

"I hope so."

Just then, Anakin came into the kitchen, "Hi, Master! Can I help you cook supper?"

"Sure, Ani. Can you peel the potatoes, please?"

"Okay," Anakin happily hopped up onto a stool and grabbed the peeler.

"So, You'll let the teenager help you but not your wife?" Sarah asked, amused.

"Ah... well, I uh..."

"I'm kidding, Obi," Sarah said, laughing again. Obi-Wan was visibly relieved. "I'll go set the table and, when they get here, I'll keep Rilla and Troy out of your hair."

"Thank you, love," Obi-Wan said, before leaning down and kissing her.

"Gross," Anakin mumble.

"Hush up, you!" Sarah said, playfully ruffling the Padawan's hair.

Once she had left the room, Obi-Wan turned to Anakin and said, "Okay, here's what we're making."

ooooooOOOOOOooooo

Twenty minutes and a bunch of bandaids later, Obi-Wan and Anakin finally had the potatoes on the stove to cook.

"Well, all things considered, that went surprisingly well," Obi-Wan said, obviously pleased.

"I agree, Master. We didn't lose any fingers and we still got all the potatoes cut and peeled."

Obi-Wan nodded. "Now, we need to cook the meat and the peas and then we need to get the mixer out."

"Why do we need a mixer? We aren't making a cake."

Obi-Wan facepalmed, "No, Anakin! We use the mixer to mash the potatoes."

"Oooh. Okay."

"Now that you understand, get the mixer and I'll cook the meat," Obi-Wan said, turning to get a pan out.

"On it, Master," Anakin said. After a moment, he said, "Ah... Master?"

"Yes, Anakin?"

"Where _is_ the mixer?"

Obi-Wan turned back to face him. "I think it's in one of those cabinets," he said, pointing to the left side of the kitchen.

Anakin went over to the previously indicated cabinets and started looking for the mixer.

Meanwhile, Obi-Wan has turned back to the stove and was in the process of cooking the meat when he heard a loud clatter.

Whipping around, he saw Anakin's legs sticking out of the cabinet he had said the mixer was in, while the rest of Anakin was buried underneath the pots and pans.

Sighing, he walked over to his Padawan. Grabbing his legs, he pulled him out of the pile, along with over half the pots. Once Anakin was safely on the floor, Obi-Wan looked him over. "You know, considering that you're nineteen years old, I would have thought you'd be a little less clumsy by now."

Anakin frowned, " I was trying to be but the mixer was all the way at the back. I had to climb in the cabinet just to reach it!"

"So, how did the pans get on top of you?"

"Ah... I might have hit the shelf above and caused them to fall," Anakin said, sheepishly.

"I see. Well, we'll clean it up later. Right now we need to get that mixer."

Obi-Wan had leaned down to start digging for the much needed mixer, when Anakin noticed something. "Master, I think something's burning."

"Dang it! The meat! Anakin, go stir it!"

Anakin jumped up and did as he was told. After stirring it, he looked at it and said, "I don't think it's that bad, Master. You can hardly tell any of it is burned."

Obi-Wan's voice was muffled as he spoke, "Well that's good to know." There was a grunt and then he pulled himself out of the cabinet. "Got it!"

He stood and set the mixer on the counter. He then checked the food and found that the potatoes, along with the 'slightly burned' meat, were done.

"Good. Now we've just got to mash the potatoes and cook those peas. Shouldn't be too hard."

oooooOOOOOooooo

Obi-Wan soon found himself eating those words. There were potatoes all over the walls and the ceiling and they had somehow managed to break the mixer.

"Sarah is going to kill us," Anakin whispered.

"You think?" Obi-Wan whispered back.

"How are we going to mash the potatoes now?" Anakin asked worriedly.

Obi-Wan thought for a moment. "I know we can put them in the blender! That should do the same thing."

"Great idea, Master! I'll get it out!"

Before Anakin could take a step, though, Obi-Wan grabbed the collar of his shirt and said, "Oh no, you don't! _I'll_ get it out. I don't want another mess like before. You put the peas in the microwave."

"Okay." Anakin set to work on the peas.

After putting them in a dish, he set them in the microwave only to paused when he realized he didn't know how long to cook them for.

"Master, how long do I put the peas on for?"

Obi-Wan's voice was yet again muffled as he said, "About two minutes."

"Alrighty then." Unknown to him, though, Anakin has heard _ten_ minutes instead of two.

Obi-Wan set the blender on the counter and put the potatoes, or what was left of them, into the blender along with the milk and some salt. ~This should work great~ he thought.

Anakin came over and watched as he started the blender. By the time it was done, the 'mashed' potatoes looked more like glue.

The two looked at each other.

"Do you think they'll notice?" Anakin asked, whispering again. Whispering was something the two tended to do when they knew they'd messed up big time.

"Hopefully not," Obi-Wan whispered back. He didn't notice that the microwave was still going. "Maybe if we went ahead and put the food on the plates before they come in the room, they won't see it."

"Sounds good to me."

Suddenly there was a burning smell. Again. Looking around, Obi-Wan spotted smoke coming from the microwave. "Anakin! How long did you put those on for?" he asked.

"Ten minutes, just like you said."

" _Ten minutes?!"_ Obi-Wan said, trying desperately not to yell. He ran over and opened the microwave. Taking out the peas, he looked them over before saying, "There's no way they won't notice this."

"Sorry, Master."

"Never mind. Let's just get the food on the plates before anyone goes to the table."

oooooOOOOOOooooo

Sarah, Rilla, and Troy all walked into the dining room after Obi-Wan had come and told them the food was ready. Sarah was slightly surprised to find that the boys had covered each plate with some of her large bowls.

"Obi, why the bowls?" She asked, a little concerned.

"Oh, no reason," Obi-Wan deadpanned as he pulled her chair out for her. "We just thought it would be nice."

Rilla was sitting in her chair looking like she was trying desperately not to laugh. She knew exactly what was going on.

"Oookaayy," Sarah said, still unsure.

After everyone was seated, they said grace. After that was done, Obi-Wan and Anakin glanced nervously at each other as the other three took the bowls off. What greeted them was quite a sight.

At the bottom of the plate were the runniest potatoes Sarah had ever seen. On top of those, was some rather burned meat and on top of the meat some incredibly burned peas.

Rilla roared with laughter the second she saw the plate, while Troy was caught between shock and laughter. Sarah just stared at her plate, wondering how on Livfrhm her husband had managed to mess up a meal as simple as this. Then another thought occurred to her.

Jumping up, she ran full speed to the kitchen, followed closely by the others. She came to a dead stop when she entered.

The kitchen was even worse than the food. Pots and pans were strewn all over the floor, potatoes where on the ceiling and walls, the microwave was smoking and there were bandaids all over the counter.

Rilla laughed even harder when she came in and saw the kitchen. At that point, the shock had passed and Troy was laughing too. Sarah on the other hand, didn't look happy at all. Obi-Wan and Anakin cowered as she began to turn.

The laughter died down as Sarah's anger because obvious. Unlike most people, who would have been screaming at the top of their lungs by now, Sarah's voice was incredibly calm as she spoke, not that that lessened the boys' fear at all.

"I assume that you two will be cleaning _all_ of this up?"

They nodded.

"Well good. Now, I'm going to order a pizza for the rest of us. You two, however, will be eating the lovely food you somehow managed to scrape together as you were destroying my kitchen. Am I clear?"

More nodding.

"Good. I look forward to watching you eat all that's on your plate now. As well as the rest of it throughout the rest of the week."

Obi-Wan and Anakin gulped, knowing they were in for a long week.

ooooooOOOOOOoooooo

 **A/N: For some of you, it might be a bit of shock for Obi-Wan to have a wife in this story but I've actually been planning for him to have one since I started writing. I just couldn't come up with a way to write it into the plot of any of my other stories. Please don't hate me for it!**


End file.
